A to Z Challenge – Z is for Zenith

And, here we are. The final day of the A to Z Blogging Challenge, and surprisingly, I made it through to the very end. This is a doubly-auspicious occasion, as this is also my one-hundredth post to this blog.

As for why I picked this particular word, I believe it’s because this is probably the height of what I can do as a blogger. I doubt the blog will go away; the fact that I held onto it for seven years without making a single post should serve as testament to that. However, I would not expect much in the way of content, especially over the next few months, as I recuperate from trying to think of interesting things to write about every day.

I wish to thank all of you that came and read my ramblings, and left comments in your wake. At least I know my efforts weren’t totally in vain. I’ve also enjoyed reading as many of your blogs as I was able to, and as is my nature, I didn’t say much because I could think of nothing that needed to be said.

I’m not sure if I will do this again next year. I have plenty of time to consider that option. All I can say is I am glad to have made it through this challenge, and I wish all of you well in your endeavours.

A to Z Challenge – Y is for Yawn

It’s early morning on Monday. In a few minutes I’ll be heading out to do laundry, as I do every Monday morning, and then seeing about that long-overdue haircut. If I’m lucky, I may get to nap for a few hours before going to work.

I suspect I’ll be quite tired tonight, but I’ll manage to make it through work as I always do. But that’s not the reason for the title of this entry.

It comes from reading the comments left by others on this blog. I know, I was surprised to see comments here, too. After reading them, I came to a not-too-difficult-to-realize observation: I’m really quite boring. I haven’t really written much here lately because I’ve had nothing interesting to say, nor does anyone really care what I have to say in the first place.

I’ll wrap all of this up with tomorrow’s post.

A to Z Challenge – X is for Xanadu

“In Xanadu did Kubla Khan

A stately pleasure-dome decree:

Where Alph, the sacred river, ran

Through caverns measureless to man

Down to a sunless sea.”

- from “Kubla Khan” by Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1875-1912)

We’re all searching for our place of untold luxury, our Xanadu, and fewer still ever come close to attaining such a place in their lifetimes. It would be nice, wouldn’t it? A place of luxury, idyllic and yet exotic, where we could indulge ourselves of whatever we desire.

Some confuse Xanadu with Utopia. Utopia is a place of perfection in all things, while Xanadu is a place of luxury, not quite perfect but pleasing all the same. They’re easy to mix up because both are equally unobtainable, and thus both are associated with a dream that always remains beyond our grasp, tantalizing and frustratingly impossible to achieve.

A to Z Challenge – W is for Weather

Weather has always held a fascination for me, from the first time I stood out on the porch with my father and we watched a thunderstorm together. I took note of most of the severe weather due to pass through our area, from the greenish sky I saw right before I saw my first hailstorm (and learned the next day that a weak tornado had passed through an adjacent town), to the tropical storms and hurricanes that passed through (the worst one I personally experienced was Gloria in 1985), to the Blizzard of ‘78 which paralyzed where I lived for close to two weeks.

As I got more into my driving career, and gained access to the internet, I fueled my passion for weather with a need to know what conditions I’d be driving through or in, and attempt to make smart decisions for my travel. Too bad my employers didn’t share this vision I had in regard to weather, which is why I drove home through the howling winds of Tropical Storm Floyd from about Worcester southward to Connecticut, and then got sent out into the flood-ravaged areas of New Jersey the following day.

Many of the commercial trucks I’ve driven in the past fifteen years or so are equipped with radios that receive the broadcasts from the National Weather Service. When I was doing long-haul trucking, I had a laptop that I would use to check the weather ahead and stay alerted to any potential storms, and adjust my travel times or routes accordingly. I did the same thing when I did linehaul, getting out of Houston just as Hurricane Harvey was making landfall far to the west of me.

I still pay attention to the weather, although not as close now that I’m mostly office-bound. But, when time permits, I will wander out on the loading dock during a thunderstorm and take in the full fury of nature playing out before me.

A to Z Challenge – V is for Vitality

About the only connection I have to this word is the fact that I’m writing about it for this blog.

I have absolutely no energy these days, despite all I do to try to stay active and live a healthier lifestyle. I also believe that if, when I wake up and look art the clock, and that little voice inside my head tells me not to bother getting up because the day is simply gonna suck, I should listen to it more often than I have been.

This has not been a very good week.

A to Z Challenge – U is for Uninspired

I have absolutely no idea what I should write about for today’s letter, so I picked the only one that conveys my current state of mind.

This is why I generally don’t blog every day … or month … or year. I have very little inspiration for my writing, and forcing my writing is like, pardon the analogy, forcing a fart – push too much and all I have to show for it is a pile of crap.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll find better inspiration, maybe I won’t. It’s all day-to-day now, right up to the very end.

A to Z Challenge - S is for Stupid and T is for Tired

Yeah, I forgot again, hence another double post.  I kept reminding myself that I had a post to write, even going so far as to plan to write something during the down time I have at work, and totally spaced out.  I didn't remember until I was driving home from work this evening.

Normally, I would have had it written on Sunday night, or at the latest Monday morning when I got home from doing the laundry, but I was just too tired to really do anything but crawl back into bed.  I still haven't fully recovered from whatever death plague was going around at work, or from the scoping I had about a week ago.  So, it's small wonder I wrote nothing until today.

I will be back on track to finish this out.  I have a few posts in the pipeline, so there's no excuse.

A to Z Challenge – R is for Routine

Some may call it being stuck in a rut, I call it following a routine. By performing tasks in a set order, every time, I find there’s less chance for me to forget an important step. I find this especially important now that there are times I tend to not recall if I did something or remembered to take something important.

Setting a routine also helps me gauge where we are in terms of the workday, and whether we’re ahead of things or falling behind. Based on what time it is and what task I’m currently performing, I can see where potential delays are about to occur, or even if we can advance to another task and try to get things done early.

I even arrange my work area in a certain fashion so I know where everything is and I know what has and hasn’t been finished. Some may know the term mise en place – a term used in cooking to mean having everything you need, from tools to cookware to ingredients and garnishes, prepped and ready to be put together with a minimum of guesswork, if any. I’ve adapted this to my work, keeping things in a certain place and order, minimizing clutter and allowing me to focus on the tasks at hand.

Do I get thrown out of whack when my routine is disrupted? Sometimes, but I can recover fairly quickly simply by getting my system back in place and stepping back into the routine. It may take me a moment to gather my thoughts, but once I do, it’s all good.

A to Z Challenge – Q is for Quandary

We’re entering the home stretch of this challenge, and despite one hiccup (which was totally health-related and I did make up for it), I think I’ve done pretty good keeping up with the flow.

And, then comes May 1^st and … what then? Should I keep writing or let this blog sink back into the nothingness I dragged it from in order to enter this challenge?

I tend not to blog a lot because I really think people don’t care about what I have to say anyhow. That’s why it sat and languished for close to seven years.

I guess I’ll ponder it over the next few days and come to a decision by the time this challenge is over.

A to Z Challenge – P is for Purines

Thanks to my having a pretty nasty case of gout, I’ve been instructed to follow a low-purine diet to help minimize the amount of uric acid in my system. I did some research on this, and I learned the following:

‘Purine’ is a medical term. It means:

• a) Any food that possesses flavor, or is otherwise stimulating to the taste buds; or
• b) Any food that you particularly like; all of your favorite foods.

And by ingesting large amounts of purines, you can build up excess uric acid in your tissues, which crystallizes in your joints and causes gouty arthritis. 

I had been on a diet anyway, since my weight was starting to balloon out of control due to the ease of obtaining and prevalence of fast food near to my place of work. Even just cutting that out and switching to salads from the convenience store, with the non-fat dressings, thank you, were enough to help me shed some poundage, and I suspect the horrors beset upon me last week helped me lose even more. And it did, but I suspect the post-purge binge leveled me off again.  Sigh.

The only problem is, with no clear diet plan, and after reading no less than four different medical websites and getting four diametrically different answers, I’ve split the difference and culled what all of them agree on, cut drastically what they differ on in quantity, and ignored the rest.

Much like every other diet I’ve been on.

As a result, I probably take in less than a thousand calories a day, even with coming home and having a snack before bed (and to satisfy the requirements of the meds I have to take with food).

As long as it doesn’t taste good and is healthy, I’ll be fine.

Stupid purines.

A to Z Challenge – O is for Observe

I’ve always been something of the quiet type. I much prefer to sit in the back and listen than to be the center of attention and do most of the talking. I’ve found this served me well in being able to escape social situations where I felt uncomfortable – most times, no one even noticed I had left until well after the gathering was over. Some didn’t even know I was there in the first place.

But, as quiet as I may be, I’m also watching and listening to what’s going on around me. I am an observer, in that I pay attention to small things that others may miss by being otherwise engaged.

For instance, I may have come and taken a look at your blog, maybe read a few posts that grabbed my interest. I may not have had anything to say at the time, hence no comment was left, but in that short span of time, I’ve learned a bit more about you, either your personal side or your creative side, whichever you display more prominently.

And if I find you interesting enough, I will be back.

A to Z Challenge – N is for Negative

A lot of people seem to think I have a somewhat negative attitude toward life in general, but this is actually quite far from the truth. I have a fairly positive outlook, to be honest. In fact, I’m usually quite positive that something is going to happen that’s going to completely wreck my day. This serves me well in two ways. First, if such an event does happen, I’m not completely blindsided by it and can usually cope with the fallout and aftermath easier, and if the reverse is true, then I’m quite relieved that things are continuing to go well. It’s win-win.

Sometimes, being negative isn’t all that horrible. Think about the times where being negative was actually a good thing, in the case of lab tests or biopsies. People are usually overjoyed when they find out that a test for a certain something came back negative, especially when the test was to confirm something they didn’t particularly want in the first place.

Look at it this way: you keep a positive outlook about a certain something you want to happen in your life. You’re completely stoked about it, all signs are pointing to yes, this is going to be your moment in the sun, your moment of glory … and then it crashes and burns around you. Now how do you feel? Pretty depressed, crushed, almost defeated? Well, keeping a slight hint of negativity to balance out the euphoric state of positivity won’t make the low seem so bad, softens the blow a bit and helps you shrug it off and move to the next thing, and could even elevate the elation if the thing does indeed come to pass.

I’m not espousing nihilism, or cynicism … okay, maybe a little bit of cynicism, but only to maintain the checks and balances that keep our world functioning. Mix a little Wednesday Addams with Pollyanna and your life might even seem a bit better for it.

Of that I’m positive … but I could be wrong.

A to Z Challenge – M is for Monday

After basically sleeping away the weekend thanks to the colonoscopy and the plague I seem to have brought home from work, I feel a lot less like a hot, steaming deathcake with extra death sauce, but I’m not completely recovered yet. I should be able to make it through most of my day tomorrow, I hope … I really can’t afford to lose any more money.

I’ve had kind of a love-hate relationship with Mondays, usually based on what job I was doing at the time. Mondays with the postal service usually meant double the volume I would have to bring out to the post offices, because even though there’s no delivery on Sundays, the mail is still moving. There was usually a two-day lag, and Tuesdays and Wednesdays were lighter than average until the volume caught back up again.

In the job I do now, it’s hard to tell when volumes will spike or on what particular day will be the busiest. We basically end up playing it by ear and see what comes in. At most, we’ll spike a bit toward the end of the month/quarter/fiscal year as companies rush to get billable freight off their docks and into their revenue stream.

Given how I feel, I can only hope tomorrow will be somewhat merciful and I can actually make it through the night.

Assuming I don’t cough up a major organ in the meantime.

A to Z Challenge - L is for Lousy

I feel horrible.

I spent the better part of past night revisiting dinners I've eaten since infancy, thanks to this wonderful prep medicine I had to take  At least I solved the mystery of why there was no toy in my Cracker Jack box back in '74.

I have not been able to take any of the medications that help me to be a functioning member of society, and as a result, I am cranky and in quite a bit of pain.

And, on top of everything, I think I'm coming down with something.

I do promise that next week's posts shall be a bit more on the lighthearted side, but for now, I just want to fulfill the obligation and maybe get some decent sleep later on.

I hope all of you are doing better.

A to Z Challenge - K is for Kolaches

Today’s the day I begin my preparations for the oh-so-much-fun procedure known as a colonoscopy, and because of this, all day today I can have nothing but clear liquids (and Jell-O®) and count it as food.

Which is making that bag of shredded cheese in the fridge look reeeeeeeally good right about now.

So, since I’m not allowed to eat anything that resembles actual food (even more so than usual, but that’s a different entry), I’m going to sit and blog about it, specifically the kolaches as mentioned in the title.

I’d never heard of these until I moved to Texas, and then I noticed that they were EVERYWHERE. The most common variety I’ve encountered are the ones stuffed with little sausages, although the more ‘traditional’ ones are filled with fruits or jams.

Our terminal manager would bring in a box of them whenever we had to have a safety meeting in the mornings, and I learned real quick to be careful because those things were delicious, and I could easily have eaten the entire box in one sitting.

I'm also thinking it was a bad idea to write about food, not being able to have any, so I suppose I’ll go console myself with a bowl of Jell-O® and dream about tastier times.

A to Z Challenge – J is for Jury

A lot of people view being called for jury duty as an inconvenience, a disruption in their day, or week, or however long they are required to go to fulfill their obligation. Not me. I’m one of the rare few that actually don’t mind getting called for jury duty, who enjoys watching the process unfold and performing my civic duty.

This may explain why I’ve never actually been picked for a jury.

I’ve only been called for jury duty five times in my life, and only once have I actually made it down to the courthouse. That was in Connecticut, and I was only there until the lunch break before I was released. There were two “missed it by that much” calls, once when Connecticut summoned me not long after I had moved to Minnesota, and once again when Minnesota summoned me not long after I moved to Texas.

My experience in Texas has been different in that I’ve been assigned ‘standby’ juror status. My theory on this is, should the jury pool run low during the day, they bring in a bunch more in the afternoon so there’s no real disruption in the process.

Both times required me to call to see if I would be needed to report to the courts building, so both times I hopped the light rail to downtown, called at the assigned time, and was told both time that I was not needed and my obligation was completed. Then, I’d grab lunch at a deli near the train station and head for home, knowing full well that had I called from home, I would have had to scramble to make it downtown on time because I would have been picked.

All in all, it’s a nice diversion, it gets me out of the office for a day, and I get to feel like I’ve done my part for my community.

A to Z Challenge – H is for Health and I is for Intellectual

I was not able to post anything yesterday, so I’m making it up today. I hope that’s allowed.

The reason I was not able to post yesterday is I was in too much pain, due to one of the nastiest gout flare-ups I’ve had since I started my new medication regimen. Unfortunately for me, I had to stop taking many of the medications I need to be able to function due to a medical procedure I’m having at the end of this week, and the literature from that doctor says to stop those meds at least seven days prior. Being barely able to walk, much less sit and type out a blog post, I came home early from work, took some of the meds I was still allowed to take, went to bed, and slipped into a blissful coma until I had to go to work today.

It’s a good thing I did make it into work today, because my office mate came down with some kind of stomach bug and didn’t show up today, leaving me to coordinate with the dock supervisor and get everything moved as efficiently as possible.

And that, dear reader, covers the H part of this post. Now, on to I.

I’ve always liked activities that stimulate my mind, and make me think. At an early age, I played chess and, for a time, was pretty good at it. Books always have a place in my life, mainly nonfiction and historical with a few memoirs and biographies thrown in, and while I don’t consider myself very good at it, I do like to write, mainly short stories and occasionally some poetry.

I was never big into sports, only playing them when I absolutely had to, and as far as rooting for a particular team in a particular sport, I don’t even waste my time with it. It just never held an allure to me.

I remember back several years ago, after I had stopped being an over-the-road truck driver, and I went with MsDarkstar to one of her writing sessions with a few friends of hers. I sat there with my laptop, bottle of cider nearby, typing away at something or other – I think it was a 750-word challenge – and I think her friends at first had no idea I drove 18-wheelers for a living, instead pegging me as either a writer or an English teacher.

I actually got a chuckle out of that when MsDarkstar told me about it later on. And, I think it’s because I like to challenge myself mentally that I’m glad I took the dispatching job. It’s forcing me to think about things I never considered before, to look at the whole instead of the parts, and somehow make it all fit as best as I can. It seems to be working as tonight went fairly well with no noticeable hiccups. Even so, I do hope my office mate returns tomorrow, it does make the chores a bit easier to perform.

A to Z Challenge – G is for Guitar

I’ve always had a love for music, but I’ve had a special place reserved for the guitar.

I remember back in elementary school … I believe it was third grade, and we had guest speakers come in and talk about what they did. Our class got a man who played Spanish guitar, and I was simply enthralled from that moment on. Just watching the way his fingers danced across the strings and made such beautiful melodies made me instantly hooked.

It’s after thinking about that for any length of time that I regret taking up the trumpet in school, but I had a hard enough time getting my folks to sign off on that, and I can say for sure that they never would have gone for guitar lessons.

Over the years, I gravitated more toward the bass, not being the type that really wants to be out in the spotlight. A little over a year ago, MsDarkstar gifted me my very own bass guitar, and today, after using Rocksmith to help me learn a bit, I can actually play a few songs and do it fairly decently. I still have trouble getting my fingers to behave as they should, and it’s quite possible that I will never be able to accomplish that, but at least I can say I’m having fun and I’m doing something else I’ve always wanted to do (my entry for P will cover more of that later on). I do still wish I had been able to take guitar lessons at an earlier age, but I’m just happy that I at least was able to give it a shot.

A to Z Challenge – F is for Flustered

You probably know the feeling. Everything’s going along nice and smooth, not a problem on the horizon, and then … it all hits so fast and all at once, leaving you bewildered and unable to concentrate on which problem should be solved first. And it doesn’t stop as quick as it started either, oh no. You feel confused, nervous, excited, even agitated … you’re flustered.

Since I’ve started in dispatch, I had quite a few days where I felt like that. Usually, it just took one thing – one minuscule, fairly insignificant thing – and I’d be in over my head. I admit, things have become better now that they finally realized that two in the office are better than one, and it’s nice that I can actually learn something from my office mate, who has more experience on the loading dock end of the freight business, while I have more experience in terms of moving the freight. It’s been a learning experience for both of us. And, because of it, things are running smoother than they were before.

I have other things that have me flustered, mostly trying to navigate through the series of tests my doctor wants me to have versus how the heck I’m supposed to pay for it all because my insurance won’t cover most of what he wants done.

One thing at a time...

A to Z Challenge – E is for Early

As I type this, it’s currently about 3:30 am. To some, that’s early. To me, that’s awfully late, considering I just got home from work a short time ago. I will wake up early in the afternoon, but to others it will seem late in the day.

In some ways, ‘early’ is a matter of perspective, depending on which side of the clock you’re on.

In other ways, as I was taught from a very early age, it was always goo to be early than late. I was trained to always plan to arrive somewhere well before the scheduled time I was supposed to be there, and in the case of all of the doctor visits I’ve been making lately, arriving early allows me to finish the mountains of paperwork that need to be done before I get to see a medical professional.

On Wednesday, being early worked out in my favor. I arrived about an hour ahead of my scheduled appointment, knowing the traffic around the area and anticipating the paperwork I would have to do. It seemed a prudent move, and much to my surprise, I was brought in well ahead of schedule and the entire procedure was complete before my true appointment time had arrived.

My experience on the highways has shown me that being taught the benefits of being early are lost on the current generation, as they rush around, arriving at the last minute, and thinking this is perfectly acceptable. I personally see being early as being able to relax, not having to rush around, having plenty of extra time to deal with delays that could set you back a good amount of time … why rush when you don’t have to?

And once again, I’ve finished my blog post early, well ahead of the scheduled posting time. Now, I can unwind a bit before heading off to sleep.

A to Z Challenge – D is for Deadlines

I’m sure many of us at one point in our lives have faced deadlines – whether personal, professional, or academic. Deadlines are one of those things that we dread, but somehow we still set, or have set, for ourselves. Finishing before the deadline gives one a sense of satisfaction, of having beaten the timetable and proven that the task was not insurmountable. Going past a deadline, however, can mean delays, lost revenue, failing grades … many things that make us feel defeated, shake our confidence, and either cause us to abandon our pursuit or resolve to try harder the next time.

I’ve faced many a deadline in my day. Get freight here by this date and time, complete this task before this time, miss the deadline and you’ll lose money … living under a time crunch constantly isn’t exactly the best thing in the world for your mental and physical health. I’ve been finding this out the hard way as I’ve gotten older.

However, I feel good because I managed to finish this post before the deadline I imposed upon myself for writing these, and despite all of my other worries and woes, I actually feel like I accomplished something.

Yay me.

A to Z Blogging Challenge – C is for Cooking

I’ve had an interest in cooking ever since I saw my first cooking show on television. From that point on, I would watch as many cooking shows as I was able to, and as one of my elective achievements in Cub Scouts, I chose the cooking one and cooked my very first meal – tacos. And when I say ‘cooked,’ I mean not from a kit, but an actual recipe. They turned out pretty good, as I recall. From then on, my fate was sealed.

I went to a vocational-technical high school, which offered as one of the trades a culinary arts course. Over the three and a quarter years in that course, I learned both institutional cooking, short-order cooking, bread and pastry making, how to prepare soups, sauces, stocks, and a variety of other things. There are times now that I wish I had paid more attention in school, as I feel I could have learned a lot more.

My foray into the world of professional cooking was short, to everyone’s relief. I learned quickly that a busy restaurant kitchen isn’t the place for me.

Today, I cook more for MsDarkstar, mostly because it’s something I still enjoy doing. My sills aren’t the best, but I can follow a recipe without mucking it up too bad, and she still claims my food is quite damn tasty. I’ve done more reading and study on my own in regard to cooking, and I’ve read things that I wish were available to high-school me as they would have been a boon to helping me maybe actually make a career out of it.

A to Z Blogging Challenge – B is for Blood

As commonly happens when you hit a certain age and all of those years of not taking care of yourself because, honestly, you never expected to be alive this long, health problems crop up that necessitate regular doctor visits. Holding a commercial driver’s license like I do, such visits become mandatory for me to be able to keep my license, and by extension, my job.

About five years ago, one of my routine DOT physicals detected that my blood pressure was a tad elevated. I’m sure that having just come off the road after dealing with typical rush-hour traffic would be enough to make anyone’s blood pressure a bit high, but I still needed to seek out a doctor to confirm the diagnosis and begin a treatment plan, if so warranted.

What does all of this have to do with the word of the day? you may be asking yourself. A fair question, that, and congratulate yourself for being so smart to think to even ask it in the first place.

You see, up until this moment, I did not have a primary care doctor. I didn’t have ANY doctor, mostly because I couldn’t AFFORD a doctor. I did some research, which consisted of looking through the provider directory in my insurance plan to find one that was taking new patients, was close by, and hopefully would not start the lecture on how I had let myself go.

I met with the doctor, and he seemed like a decent sort until he started scaring me with his use of the “D” word as related to my weight and overall well-being, the word being “diabetes.” Naturally, being a new patient, he wanted to get some blood drawn to see what he might be dealing with. I didn't think much of this as it seemed fairly routine to me.

Until, visit after visit, he always concluded by ordering more blood drawn.

LOTS of it. I think the record was ten tubes of blood in one sitting.

This led me to develop a theory about my doctor fellow. I am now convinced that my doctor is, in reality, a sanguinarian. He’s not drawing ALL of that blood for testing purposes, it’s so he can have a snack during the busy day ahead. It’s how he keeps his youthful appearance … see a couple of patients, chug a tube or two, back to work.

I’ve also never seen him venture out toward the front of the office, with the big windows that let the sunlight in. Just sayin’.

Anyway, to wrap this up, I was indeed diagnosed as hypertensive, with a few other maladies thrown in for good measure. I now take all kinds o’ pills that don’t give me all kinds o’ thrills, but I’m feeling a bit better than I had been.

And it seems the doc’s on a diet. Only four tubes this last visit. Maybe it’s because of all that bacon fat running through my veins… might be raising his cholesterol.

A to Z Blogging challenge – A is for Acceptance

For the first time, I have accepted the A to Z blogging challenge, mostly to see if I could really come up with twenty-six different topics over the course of this month. MsDarkstar, the woman I share my life with, has done this in the past and I always wondered if I could be up to the task.

I’ve had to accept a lot of things over my life. I’ve had to accept that I will never win the Powerball jackpot, I’ve accepted that I will forever be a wage slave probably up until the day I croak, and I’m starting to accept that my cat will be a bitey little orange jerk from now until his final days.

Looking back, this might have been the easiest thing I’ve accepted in quite a while. Here’s hoping I can keep up the pace and keep the posts coming.

Only twenty-five more to go.